10 Steps to Take Charge of Your Emotional Life by Eve A. Wood

Author:Eve A. Wood
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hay House, Inc.
Published: 1999-12-31T05:00:00+00:00

BREAKING FREE FROM OUR MISCONCEPTIONS

I’m going to give you a silly, simple example of what I mean by staying trapped by an idea. A long time ago when my now-teenage son was three years old, he and I had a battle of wills about vegetables! I’d made dinner, and we were sitting down to eat. Gabe announced that he didn’t like broccoli (having never eaten it before) and refused to sample it.

I insisted that he try one bite, and if he disliked it, he could have a substitute. He refused to do so. He was given multiple chances to challenge his belief and cooperate. But even knowing that his rigidity would land him in bed without any further dinner, treats, or bedtime story, he refused to try the broccoli. He was eventually carried off to his room, kicking and screaming.

Gabriel was a stubborn little boy, but I was even more determined than he was when it came to health issues. So when we sat down to green beans the next evening and he pulled the same routine, he was carried off to bed as he had been the night before. This went on for four days, with Gabe insisting each night that he didn’t like the vegetable on his plate, no matter what it was. It didn’t make a difference if he’d never tasted it before, or if he’d eaten it with gusto in the past.

Finally, on the fifth night, we sat down to broccoli again. The familiar routine began to play itself out until just before the trip to bed. Then, wonder of wonders, Gabe lifted the tiniest spear of broccoli to his mouth and put it in. And guess what? His reluctant face broke into a smile. He finished that first piece, and as he was stabbing the second one with his fork, he said “I like broccoli! Can I have some more?”

“Of course, Gabe,” I answered. “But wouldn’t you have saved yourself a lot of upset if you had just tried the broccoli the first time?” He nodded.

“There’s a lesson here,” I said. “Don’t insist you know something when you don’t know for sure that it’s true. Your stubbornness will only cause you grief. Other people might even get angry with you, and do or say things that upset you. It’s best to be open-minded and willing to try new things. Do you agree?”

By now Gabe was on his third helping of broccoli. He nodded again and said, “I don’t know why I wouldn’t try it, Mom. But I learned my lesson.”

I believe that he did learn to challenge his stuck thinking. In fact, we never had an argument like that again—not about anything! What a relief that was to all of us in the family.

Now this may seem like a silly story about a three-year-old child and vegetables. But is it really so irrelevant? Have you ever enacted this kind of dysfunction in your adult life? For instance, have you ever insisted that someone didn’t like

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